I know I internalized a lot of what these men said to me, what they did. Take away the computer, the men, the cell-phone and my privacy and problem solved, right? My mom removed my door from my room. And because I was treated as if I was wearing a scarlet letter, I internalized it all. This post contains depictions of sexual violence. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. I wish she could see that she didn't need any of them to feel whole.
It was my way of showing that I felt out of control and helpless. I loved, I cried, I laughed. I hated my parents and felt trapped in my houses my parents divorced when was young. It's the consequence of some fucked up things that happened in my life and that I took to the Internet. Hi, I'm Erin, and I used to have sex with older men on the Internet. I also know people will look at me differently and view me as a victim. I was finding hope in the only way I knew how to as a year-old and 15, 16, 17 and even year-old. Which just to clarify is still rape. I wish she could see that she didn't need any of them to feel whole. How this has effected me is not something I can ever truly understand, given how much it's become a part of me. This post contains depictions of sexual violence. Older men on the Internet gave me that reason. I realized that I had been taken advantage of, manipulated and used She had it in her all along. Yes, it was taxing in everyway imaginable, but I survived. And now I thrive. I fell into this trap and couldn't escape; I became obsessed. The reality of what I did, what they did, hit me like an avalanche. Yes, we had cyber and phone sex. Here's something I don't talk about very often; I'm a survivor of some pretty fucked up cyber sexual relations. I just wish other people understood this. It was incredibly painful, raw and real. And we never actually talked about it; it was this unspoken thing that clearly affected the relationship between my parents and I, but nothing was ever done to address it. I fell deeply into depression; there were days where I would stare at the clock and just wait for sleep. No, I never ran away to have a sleepover with any of them, but it didn't make any of it any better. Yes, we'd exchanged nudes.
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