Be willing to answer questions, but make sure you are prepared to answer even the most uncomfortable ones. Acting on your values and being a good role model are powerful messages for your children. If you don't know the answer, admit it. Find the answers together. The decision to become sexually active is too important to be based on what other people think or do. If you're having trouble talking to your child about sex -- knowing what to say and when -- this book can present the info for you with just the right balance of sensitivity and clarity. There is a curriculum titled Circles, which provides a method for visually delineating relationships.
Be honest, accurate, and straight forward. As simply as possible. It is important, therefore, to start the conversation early, and to make it clear to your children that you are always willing to talk about sexuality — whenever questions come up for them, or when a "teachable moment" occurs. Your first talk with your teen regarding sex should not be your last! Even before you're put on the spot, you might want to talk with your partner or a friend who has older children about how to word your responses in ways that keep you feeling comfortable and answer your child's immediate concern without adding mechanical specifics that might distress or confuse her. Teens need accurate information and decision-making skills to help protect them from: When should start discussing sex with my child? For most young children, showing off their genitals or examining somebody else's -- what used to be called "playing doctor" -- is just another way of figuring out the world. But talking with children as young as 3 or 4 years old may be hard, especially if you've never had the discussion. Talk one-on-one with your child and assess what he or she already knows. If your child seems extremely preoccupied with sexual play, you should speak to his pediatrician about it. Tell your child that it is natural to experience attraction and sexual feelings, and candidly discuss how to appropriately handle these feelings and urges. To feel comfortable talking openly with you, your teen needs to know that you will not punish him or her for being honest. Safety and Laws Regarding Sexuality Teach your child what sexual abuse is, how to recognize it, and ways to stay safe. Make it easier to keep your cool by thinking about how you want to respond. Start by remembering that -- though you may feel embarrassed -- his sexual exploration is utterly natural. This can provide an opportunity to make sure that your child both has accurate information and hears what your values are relating to it. Back to top Things to Remember and Other Tips Here is an additional list of some important things to remember throughout your interactions with your teen regarding the topic of sex. Find the answers together. The candid text is most appropriate for 5- and 6-year-olds, though of course you can always skip a few pages as you go along. Giving him one without the other is unfair. Your child needs to understand that sexual actions can have consequences, like sexually transmitted diseases STDs or pregnancy. Sexuality, in most of its aspects, can be a joyful topic for discussion in the family. You may want to consider using real pictures, including pictures that show what males and females look like at different points in development including variations in size and pubic hair. Too often, parents think they need to wait until they collect enough information and energy to be prepared to have "THE TALK" with their children. Use the media example:
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