This is a wonderful starting point. In order to change this, one of two things must happen. Again, if your partner won't join you , go yourself. Just reassure your spouse that this time things are going to be different and say nothing more. As far as I know, having children is an irreversible decision. You need to take responsibility for making things better so that you will feel more loving toward your spouse.
If the process of talking things out seems daunting, see a certified sex therapist. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard a person say, "I really wasn't in the mood at all at first, but once we got into it, I enjoyed myself. Along these same lines, many times people stop being interested in sex when they stop feeling good about their bodies. You might also consider taking a drug such as Viagra, which will help you have and maintain an erection. When you think back to times when things were better between you sexually, you may ask yourself what happened to your passion and what caused this to change in you. If you are one of those people, you need to do something to change the way you feel about your body. Were you using sexual devices such as a vibrator? Decide to become adventurous and try things you haven't tried before to see if you find them enjoyable. As far as I know, having children is an irreversible decision. Perhaps later in the day might be better for you. If you push yourself a bit, you will see whether the caressing and touching puts you in the mood. In fact, it's entirely possible that the cat and mouse dynamic in your relationship has dampened your desire, even fooled you into thinking you don't like sex anymore. You can't rely on your marriage to be the sole source of your happiness. In fact, sex therapists report that a sexual desire gap is the number one sexual problem brought to their offices. In other words, although it may not be perfect, you can rearrange your lives so that you can replicate at least part of what was working for you back then. The possibilities are endless. If so, offer a "hands-on" demonstration. Experiment with novelty Sexual relationships often become boring when you do the same old thing over and over. This post offers 11 tips for the spouse whose desire for sex has seemingly vanished. Explore and experiment until you know exactly what turns you on. Both the male libido and the female libido are highly sensitive to the stresses and strains of your emotional relationship with each other. If you're the one wanting more sex, take a deep breath, more helpful information is on its way! Get a medical checkup To eliminate physiological causes for your lack of desire, a trip to your family physician or gynecologist may be in order. Libido is a largely biological phenomenon, and you should never apologize for your own internal chemistry. You need to start to figure out the steps you ought to take to feel more passion and desire. Your spouse can stop chasing and you better believe that this will be one of my suggestions , or you can become more proactive for making things better between you.
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